3/14/2019

'why can't you just swim' she'll say to me
when i go forward, paralyzed with dread
feeling very little
unsure of how much farther i can go

'if you keep going like this, i will loathe you,
and my words will stay with you
and i will feel no remorse and no regret
and i will never admit i did
anything wrong

and i will never apologize. you must apologize to me.
and i will be okay with who you are. so long as others do not see you.
and i will see how hard you are working and call you
sensitive, fragile,
because you show signs of being hurt when i hurt you,

and in the end no one should ever know
and if they find out, i will hurt you as much as i can
because more than anything
others must not feel badly about me
and more than anything
i must be perfect
always and forever
i must
win every argument, and
nothing i do will ever be my fault.

but more than anything
you and i will preform
so that the whole world sees
how good a mother i am
and how perfect i am
and how undamaged and successful you are
and i do not care how i go about doing it
because all that matters
is that the outside world
showers me with praise
and that my ego is not touched
by truths i have not made.

you will have long drowned before i admit
that i drowned you.'

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License